"Take It All"

With all the stress of losing the house, my grades, finals I find myself coming back to God.  I feel a bit ashamed because I've realized that I only pray when I need something and rarely to thank him. He's gotten my Dad and Me through alot.   He's opened up this new youth group when I thought the end of Sunset was the end.  He's let me meet more people who are dedicated and they've shown me what I've been lacking.  The things that have been happening are proof that this verse is true:

"Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you"

-Matthew 7:7

I'm not trying to put up a front and say "I'm all biblical and I'm a great person" blah blah because I know I'm not.  I've never said that. Nor do I think I try to say I'm the best Christian ever. Because the fact is I'm far from that. It's not even about a label of "Christian" as God said, "We walk by faith not by sight" 

It's by our faith we our saved! That's why I don't even like to say oh I'm from a Baptist Church Pentacostal etc. because  the truth is it's our commitment to him our faith in God. 

 I don't follow God's word alot to be honest. I've pushed him aside. I guess it always go back to that thing like with the saying about parents, the reason we are so comfortable with yelling at them is because we know they'll always forgive us in the end.  I've been thinking of God that way. 

yet again.

i find myself at the same place, again.

i've said it before i'd rather just apologize and resolve conflict.

now it seems pointless. because no good comes out of it, in a sense.

yeah, you get along again ,but after that what's left? 

ACKKKKKKKKKK.

I AM SO STRESSED.

Yes, obnoxious captialization is necessary.

My grades need to get up.

I'm scared to talk to some of my teachers.

Let's just pray everything will be alright.

Oh, that new blogspot.. 

Link later?

also, i've come to an understanding.

a huge understanding. 

can i just say, sorry.  okay i keep editing this ,but it would look stupid to put

EDIT:: EDIT: EDIT: can i just say i realize what i do, most of the time. i see how you feel now. i know i should be putting "I dont realize" than i'd be lying if i did. i see it hurts you. 

and another thing. who the heck reads my blogspot???

the randomest person like someone completely out of the blue and btw, why do people say outta' the "Blue"? what does blue represent? anyways _____ came up to me like a couple months ago and said something about one of my blogs and i was just a bit surprised.

Fresh water.

New blogspot.

ask if you want, although your probably going to find it anyways.

i don't want to go to school tomorrow. eck. 

RIP.

No. No one died. R.I.P to the past. 

I was skimming through my old blogs and another blog and realized how much life has changed, how much people changed. In such a short span of time. Amazing how much a couple months can do.  Just food for thought.

Your cup is dosen't even exist.

^ if you got the title. kudos to you.

i shouldn't have even signed on to myspace knowing that probably only two people are going to be online at 2 in the morning. than what fabulous thing do i discover. i honestly tried ,but oh sorry that.i was...whatever. i'm not even going to talk about because i know it's only going to make things worse and some people don't change.  i got home at 4am last night and 2am today so i'm basically a zombie right now. 

the security guard at cache creek was oh so sweet. i swear its the same security guard from last time.

the party was pretty funny, to say the least excluding the fact that dad woke me up at nine at night mind you to go to the party. i was totally confused ,but just went anyways because i wanted to see the house. there wasn't much people left so the pool table was open. yesss.

wow, thats the most detail i've put into my blogs about my day in a while. =x

Ouch.

Thanks for picking it up and just dropping it.

I thought I was finally..

I guess we'll never cross point.

I actually that it was real. Thought I broke in, guess it's never gonna' happen.

Better than nothing?

 

Trust.

I'm putting my trust in God, at least I'm trying.

I'm really trying to turn it around.  God knows what. I know I'm not giving my all ,but God has gotten me and my Dad through some huge hurdles and I know he's going to let everything work out. I'm trying to remember that. 

Youth has helped alot. I miss Surefire ,but I don't think we were really learning it's sad to say ,but it didn't really change me. I know this is where I have to be. 

I'm really hoping that school will work out is it dishonest? I think God will understand if I have to do what I have to do. I hope. I'm looking forward to summer though:

-Seattle

-Canada? 

-GreatAmerica. (We better go before Mel leaves. Hehe [; )

-Cheer Camp.

-Actually practicing. Fuhreaals this time.

-And what I'm dreading the most, moving. We don't know when their gonna' kick us out. 

Like OR As.

SIMILES.

METAPHORS.

This boggles my tiny teenage mind.  During english class Vargas asked us to define a metaphor and it's one thing that is compared to another thing NOT using like or as.  Why am I going on about this?  I now realize that I have trouble making metaphors.  Like why does it even make a difference? Isn't it the same thing? She is like a rose. She is a rose.  Dosen't that convey the same message? I sat there dumfounded when he then asked us to make a metaphor. Point is rose is a rose! Beautiful ,but could still hurt you with it's thorns. So why does it make a difference if you use like or as if they embody the same thing? 

Off that extremely random note,

I guess the point was taken ,but some of the lead hasn't hit the paper yet.

HappyMothersDay.

At GreatMall TitaVick said, "You're exposed to so many things, but that only makes you stronger". 

The whole when another thing closes another open thing, has basically come to life for me. I've been thinking about how all these bad events happen and another thing seems to take it's place.

My faith has been more than lackluster and I realize that I need to get back on track. It's God who's been placing the track for me ,but it's up to me to follow it.

You have got to be kidding me.

"Smile".

Happy May. I think it's a month 'till break? 

It's been quite awhile. Still don't know why I'm awake at 2 a.m. considering what happened this morning. That was a pretty bad fight.

I don't think *He realizes how big a situation has been created.  No, it's not the same. It's completely different. Waaay different.  I'm not completely mad about the whole thing, looking at this optimisticly maybe some good will come out of it ,but right now all it's doing is hurting.

*aha just for clarification

But I'm not tripping, still blessed.