Circles

"They say if you love something let it go, And if it comes back then that's how you know, the further I go the closer I get back to you"

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.  I know I should just forget about it. It's just that, I can't. The more he pushes the more I want you. 

Thinking of You.

I actually watched the whole video for that song. It hit me. Never thought I'd be crying because of a Katy Perry song. The lyrics are so raw everything I feel, what I want to say, but can't. The whole meaning the whole concept, is wow. It's not just one of those pop songs or even a sappy R&B one. There's something about it. If you could take how I feel or will even feel this song personifys it. Damn.

"Comparisons are easily done 

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one 

But still got the seed..

I guess second best is all I will know..

Cause' when I'm with him 

I'm thinking of you..

He kissed my lips

I taste your mouth

He pulled me in

I was disgusted with myself."

that's why it'll never happen.

Gravity

i kept this in my drafts.

thought about if i should put it up. then i realized why am i even questioning it? it's honest. open.

what i find perplexing is someone questions why they are always in a certain position or why they don't find life what they want to be in a sense or why they are never "happy."

honestly, it's been frustrating.

the way i been looking at life this past break has changed.

the more negative we become the less we are able to focus on what good we have now whatever that may be.

life has basically been, Stess. BIG stress. the type of stress that i haven't made clear to anyone except for my Dad because he knows where it's coming from and is the only one who can truly understand.

my whole meeting with Ms.Yambao helped me, loads.

she pointed out that stressing about something does harm, not any good.

i've basically blocked stress out of my life, she's helped me see that instead of stressing i could just relax and find the solution to what i'm stressing for, or just completely forget about it.

this break i surrounded myself with more "positivity" in a sense.

and ignored the negative around me, or at least tried.

the issue is, i can't get rid of it, in a way..,but deal with it.

but thats what i've come to see what life is all about dealing with "it" whatever "it" may be person,situation,anything. 

these months made me see that i can't rely on people to be there always, or at all.

and to be honest, it dosen't seem like people care, except for their...

but i know that people deal with things different ways and i accept that.

that's why i've seen that taking on a new way at viewing things makes everything seem easier even if it really isn't.

Basically. i'm just gonna' "get back up when it knocks me down" [=

itsamazing.

timing. oh so perfect timing.

i was terribly sick this morning. 

not even kidding. my fever kept going up and down.

i ended up missing Desiree's birthday thing.

damnit. it wasn't till four something ,but the doctor said i really need to rest.

some virus going around.

but i'm still remaining positive. 

part of what i promised myself i would do a while back.

no sense worrying. there's still alot of time, for everything.

spring break's still been good.

i think i should feel better tomorrow, Dad says we might go somewhere on Thursday or Friday

i've been surrounded with more positivity and it feels good.

i hope it actually happens today ended up being bad ,but everything happens for a reason right?

The Beginning of SpringBreak.

Imma' make this short. SpringBreak has been soooo good. It's actually GREAT.

These past three days have been better then my whole crap of the past months.

Still remaining positive because life is beautiful.