Quicksand.

In quicksand the less you move the slower you sink ,but the faster you move the faster you sink. I feel like I'm in quicksand now. The more I do the faster I sink the less I do nothing happens ,yet I'm still in the sand still sinking. The inevitable end, there are branches too reach out too and pull me out. Why don't I take them?



Because there are thorns ,but I still want the rose to pull me out. I'm still willing to get hurt, as long as have the rose, even if I'm still stuck in the quicksand.

jlkhhhjhjji

the heck is wrong with you?

i'm happy i'm getting away from this place. geez.

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mmmm... it's twelve eighteen? by the time I get done writing this it would probably be eh, i don't want to do the math. i don't apologize for the above ,but i do wish i worded it better, i'm not overeacting i think i'm undereacting there's nothing i can do and i think i accept that. been my whole philosophy for the past months can't really change it now. so mineaswell embrace it.

"You gonna' drink?"

Ok.Ok.Ok. So I drank a little.

If God turned water into wine and drank wine at the last supper as a representation of his blood than I don't consider alcohol itself "evil". Of course God created both good and evil and it's how we use wine or alcohol. I guess vodka whatever is made by man using the materials which God created. But it's up to us how we use what he created. Just try and get what I'm saying.

I know my limits. Sorry, I just know someone is going to say something about this.

OHHHH NINE.

YESSSSSS!

It's summer time. I'm relieved, I'm excited I'm alot of things.

thankyouGod. I was so stressed the past two weeks. Beyond stressed.

I probably sprouted grey hairs.  

It's amazing how fast this summer come and how fast the years have gone. I can't believe I'm a junior. Just seeing how much people have changed I've changed and I'm sure we're going to keep changing. For the good or the bad, it's still a "Good Life".

We'll see what summer brings. 

oh really now.

um, wow.

i find it amazing how you can blow a small thing up.

i'm glad i didn't come.

i wonder what else you think of me, or thought of me.

why do i even bother? 

further thoughts:

i should be studying for algebra but i sort of see it as pointless

i'm going to for sure sleep at 2 because that seems to work out.

posting this seems even more pointless.

like really what do you want me to fucking do?

lie to you?

or would you rather me not say anything?

because the more honest i get the more ehhhhh.

honesty killed the cat. 

"Quit Playing Games With MY Heart"

^Does anyone remember that song? I miss those 90's cheesy love songs. 

Starting at 10:30 I finished:

-The whole bio project by myself why? because i'm an idiot.

-Essay for English

-The DNA lab which I redid.

All I need to do is study for the Spanish final which I just realized is probably on Tuesday considering Jp's is tuesday if not, than well, i'm screwed. 

"Take It All"

With all the stress of losing the house, my grades, finals I find myself coming back to God.  I feel a bit ashamed because I've realized that I only pray when I need something and rarely to thank him. He's gotten my Dad and Me through alot.   He's opened up this new youth group when I thought the end of Sunset was the end.  He's let me meet more people who are dedicated and they've shown me what I've been lacking.  The things that have been happening are proof that this verse is true:

"Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you"

-Matthew 7:7

I'm not trying to put up a front and say "I'm all biblical and I'm a great person" blah blah because I know I'm not.  I've never said that. Nor do I think I try to say I'm the best Christian ever. Because the fact is I'm far from that. It's not even about a label of "Christian" as God said, "We walk by faith not by sight" 

It's by our faith we our saved! That's why I don't even like to say oh I'm from a Baptist Church Pentacostal etc. because  the truth is it's our commitment to him our faith in God. 

 I don't follow God's word alot to be honest. I've pushed him aside. I guess it always go back to that thing like with the saying about parents, the reason we are so comfortable with yelling at them is because we know they'll always forgive us in the end.  I've been thinking of God that way.